Sometimes I am a dreamer, everyone is. And I am a little girl with the big big dreams.
Some women dream just about starting a family, becoming a mom, having a house with a garden and a dog… Fortunately my Mother raised me differently and I already know that having a child is not what would make me a real woman and the only things I should care about are my own dreams, goals and well-being, no matter how much it costs. Same thing with being married or in relationship. It would be amazing to be in a happy one but if not – it’s not the end of the world and I really can imagine being single. Well, I am a single. Although it would be awesome to have someone by my side, someone forever and for 100%, I just do not have time for it. I travel, I study, I realize myself and do a lot of planning FOR MYSELF. Maybe in a year or two, when my life becomes more settled…
And my Mom doesn’t feel like becoming a Grandma anyway 😀
By the way, it surprises me so much that some of my friends – intelligent and beautiful, ambitious engineering students, dream mostly about moving in and starting families with their long-term, met in young age boyfriends! They want to work 9 to 5, cook dinners, watch tv, babysit while the husbands watch football and drink beer. This picture terrifies me! Please, think it over, girls!
When I was younger, every day before falling asleep I was picturing all the good things which could happen to me and what I was dreaming to have or achieve. Now – to my own harm – I rather tend just to worry about what bad could happen and how I would handle that right here right now. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes is helps, because I am already mentally prepared for so many situations! But maybe you can’t really prepare for everything just in theory? Why women tend to over-think while men tend to over-react? I know I am still full of fears and anxieties, but I try to talk about it and sooth it. And I am lucky to be surrounded with some people who really can listen and understand.
Anyway, I still DO have the dreams. So many! From silly to really serious ones.
I wish someone would paint me one day. No, not this creepy cartoons or caricatures which you can find in summer towns in Polish seaside (and pretty much anywhere else). I dream of like Ruben’s style painting, you know? I just love his art and this type of normal, curved women.
It is obvious, but I also dream about traveling the word. I have already showed it on Facebook, but that is what I’ve found recently in a fortune cookie in a Thai restaurant in Sweden:
And I have already been to 33 countries (was able to count that just because of Couch Surfing) and lived in 5 of them! I have a world map tattooed on my ribs and friends coming from major part of the world?!
I do not know what I want, but I know what I do not want. I don’t want routine, boredom, monotonous life. I don’t need to have the best car, fanciest apartment, jewellery and designer clothes. I just want to travel for 2-weeks holiday every 3 months (hopefully such job exists). And I do not want to spend vacation in Polish seaside, I want to be able to afford Singapore, Japan, Brasil… That is why I am moving to Germany, their salaries will let me do it. I am not moving there for better life, but for the life I deserve, as an ambitious woman, engineer, traveler.
And I simply just want to be happy. Is that a lot?