India and what next?

I am here, in India, for already 40 out of 86 days and I cannot imagine being anywhere else this summer. It is exactly what I needed in this time of my life, probably the last student holidays for some time!

But in October I need to come back to grey reality of Poland and studies and I have to survive. Although I am fully conscious that this time has to come and I do settle my commitments back at home (Bachelor thesis, university, another internship, place to live, travels) I am still not prepared for that – I cannot imagine being back in my origin for the first time in almost a year. And I need to talk it through with my friends, people back at home and my current friends here in India. And I am so glad I have someone to talk it through. Someone who asks if I am fine (– Everything alright? You were quiet for last couple of days!), promises to help and makes me laugh every day.

(c) Bence Fejes

First of all – I need to move out. Since my Mom moved out, our relationship became much better. We meet around twice a week and we finally have this quality time. Far from domestic quarells about washing dishes, we are finally able to talk like a woman with a woman and it is GREAT, I wish that to everyone. I am currently living with my Dad and Grandma and it hovers between mediocre and bad. But since I am abroad, I really have better relationship with my Dad too! We don’t talk much at home, but here I have an urge to call him and tell him about something what happened almost every day! Not to mention all the photos and little reports I send him on WhatsApp.

I thought that my apartment is settled – I was supposed to move in with a girl from my university, ex-classmate of my best friends. Unfortunately the flat belongs to her brother, and his friend is moving in soon, so I got abandoned.

Currently I am begging, crying and threatening my best male friend (male version of me and the best Arabic brother ever) to let me move in with him and his mate. Even though I would be sleeping on a couch with a hamster around (I’m allergic!), it would be great to live with them. And it’s much closer to the university and the city centre. And they need some female hand an accent in this apartment! Living with Philippe would also mean…

Living closer to yoga! No, he is not a guru, but his apartment is very close to Stacja Joga office, where I used to do yoga last autumn (and really liked it).

(c) Bence Fejes

That is my main goal – after coming back from India not to stop things which make me feel good. Do not eat after sunset, keep doing yoga. I really feel the difference when I start the day with yoga session at 7AM, short breathing exercises, fresh non-masala breakfast and a coffee. And I know that physical excercises will keep my body and soul in a good shape, reduce my weight and not let depression come back.

German – my educational priority almost as high as getting a diploma. I wanna move to Germany in one year time and I must be ready. Although I hope on finding a job in English, as I did last year, I am fully conscious that I need fluency in their language to develop my career.

Little thing – I am dreaming of developing some talent which I can show on public. I mean – writing is being shown to public, but I cannot perform with it in any talent shows. I am really dreaming of coming back to music! Becoming a DJ seems too complicated, but I used to play piano when I was 7 to 12, and then guitar 12 to 16. And now I am dreaming of playing drums! Just because. Just because it looks cool! And I want to be cool like Adam Marszałkowski (great drummer of Polish band Coma), Rob Bourdon or Dave Grohl.

And last but not least – I wanna keep writing. It will not be Suzana INDIANA anymore, but I will of course keep the name. I still have many travels to happen and many thoughts to share. And I promised my doctor not to stop writing to keep my good state and monitor my emotions. Amen.

Zrzut ekranu 2017-08-10 o 11.02.06

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