Remember my post about how much Sex and The City influenced my life? Well, it’s worth commenting on again.
No matter how cartoonish the creations of Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are (come on, there are no such clear-cut people in real life), they create, together with Carrie (who seems more real) a model group connected by the ever-lasting friendship between women. And although I do not wanna go deeper into the topic of female friendship, cause it is a sensitive and hurting recently, Carrie does something very healthy – divides and shares her problems between people.
There is no person who can hadle ALL. Ok, maybe your mother, but this doesn’t count. While picking people and talking to them about something deeper than the weather, you should also be concern about their comfort. I wouldn’t ask relationship advices to someone who just broke up with their partner. I wouldn’t complain about life to someone in bereavement. But it’s not only about temporary states.
Maybe it’s a natural trait, but I somehow also share myself as a person into some smaller parts available to other people. It doesn’t mean I’m fake – they can access the whole set any time, but in the every day life it’s easier to be a person they like and need.
I cannot expect from just one person understanding and support in EVERY situation. Yes, I can tell everything to my best friend and I do. And I know she will understand and support me no matter what. She will say I am a great person even if I completely screw something up. But when I need someone to shake me, tell me I’m horrible and I should do something about it, I will go to other friends 🙂 I think it’s healthy both for me and for them – less pressure.
If you succeed to like yourself, everything gets easier. Not easy, clear and obvious, but easier.
I do not always like myself, but since some time I like myself more than ever. Well, I still see my weaknesses, but I try to fight them and I do not let them determine me. And I see them better than before because liking myself I see it all as a one person I am.
When I realize that I am not exactly the person I would like to be, I take a deep breath. Before I would hate myself for making a mistake and treat myself as the worst person in the world. I do not do that anymore. I just let it go, learn the lesson and try to never repeat it again. That is healthy too. Do not let your mistakes stick in your head. Do not collect them like stamps, which can remind you of all the bad things about yourself. What is more, there is no one who can judge you more severly than you yourself.
To like the person you are is one of the most important tasks in your life. All the others – decisions you make, plans and goals you set, dreams you have and how you follow them – result from this one thing. This tiny thing which cannot even be seen or measured (well, it’s also about the gravity. F=mg, E=mgh and such stuff).
If you succeed to like yourself, you will also like all the people around at least a bit more. You will be able to treat them better. You will welcome every new day with some portion of happiness.
Obviously it’s nicer to spend your life with a person you like, with who you can just be silent and enjoy moments, not fight and be criticized all the time (sh*t, that sounds like dual personality xD But you get what I mean). Give yourself a chance. Keep smiling. And loving.