Destination (un)known

I’ve just came back from the greatest weekend I could have at the moment. Using the power of Ryanair (20 euros round trip!) I’ve ran away from every-day life and jumped for 48 hours to my beloved Karlsruhe, where I’ve done an internship last summer and where my heart stayed.
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Ever since I made the plan for my ‘adult life’ after graduation, I connect everything to Germany. I can’t imagine living anywhere else and if everything goes as planned – I will be FINALLY moving there in September 2018. My former coworker asked me, when I’ve visited the old office: You’ve seen half of the world and out of all the amazing places you are so much in love with Germany to live here?! Why?!. There are a couple of reasons.
Germany is like Poland but much better. Well, maybe it’s offensive to Germany to even try to compare it to Poland but that’s a different topic (not a patriot at all!). What I mean is that there are no significant major culture differences – we share history, people are kinda similar, the food is familiar (still traumatized after India). I’m aware that getting deeper into the society will cost me some effort – the Germans already have their roots there: family, childhood friends etc., and I will be this new one, but with my social skills it does not worry me. I will probably end up with other expats anyway.
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The quality of life. Maybe I can earn good money in Poland as an engineer… good money to go for holidays to Spain. And there is nothing wrong with Spain, but I want to be able to go to Thailand! And generally keep traveling like crazy. That’s what I want to have money for, not a fancy car or clothes.
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I know they pay huge taxes in Germany, but I don’t mind it since I can drive perfect highways, have cycling paths everywhere, and go to the doctor with no problem. Being legally insured via public fund in Poland, I still often need to pay for private appointments not to wait two years to see a specialist.
What is more, in Germany you choose if you want to pay taxes for church or not, depending if you use its ‘services’. In Polandia they will rather make you pay even more if you dare not to show up in a church on Sunday.
Germany is the world center for Biomedical Engineering – the domain I chose to develop in. I know how fast paced it is, I know that sooner or later it will be vast everywhere too… but I don’t wanna wait for it, I want to build my career somewhere where I already have possibilities, not where I will have to build it up from scratch. For this purpose I could go to the US, too, but it doesn’t seem favorable right now with Mr Donald. I also cannot imagine being that far from where my parents are. Being in Germany I can be back in Lodz in a couple of hours if they need me. It wouldn’t be that fast and cheap from America.
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I haven’t been as sad as I am today since a long time. It felt great to see my people, my places there, eat beloved Kasespatzle, watch a friend playing basketball match, spend hours at Christmas Market with never-ending mulled wine in my hand and just lay down on a couch and talk talk talk to people who mean so much to me. Not much changed there and at the same time a lot did change, for me and for everyone.
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When I arrived to Karlsruhe on Friday morning I had tears in my eyes – it was so good to be back! It never happened to me while coming back to Lodz.
This night I cried again, when I understood that it was just a sneak-peak and I still have to wait a couple of months for my dream life. I was so jealous about all the friends there who have already graduated and could have directly stay there, earn money, develop hobbies, rent a nice apartment, keep learning German. I want it too! And at the same time I am so afraid that my move will not be as easy as I imagine. I really want to find job, but my German will not be even B1 yet by then. My plan B is applying for Masters programme directly, which also not a bad option… I want it so much that it must happen! That’s karma.
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