New Year, new me

Yes, yes, I know, it’s the most pathetic, but also the most meaningful title for the NY post… I have already done kind of summary of 2017, now it’s time to start 2018 properly.

I welcomed this year with one of the best parties of my life in a gorgeous place and with great people. And although the evening of 31st of December was a bit depressing (maybe I am getting old but I really felt nostalgic about one more year passing by that quickly), I welcomed the New Year with a huge smile on my face.

What changed? Not much and a lot at once.

I will be 23 this year and to my surprise – I don’t really care. After 18 and 20 birthdays are not touching me that much anymore. My mom will be 60, though, and that IS surprising. I still remember her 50th b-day… My oldest cousin will turn 18… And my lovely little niece, whom I vividly remember in her mom’s belly, will be 12 years old. So if everyone around is getting older, maybe I am getting old too?!

Like never before I am feeling the end of the old and beginning of the new chapter. Looking back I can see clear periods. Careless childhood ended probably when I was 13. Then my rebellious teenage years, which ended around the age of 18. Next – theoretically being an adult but still a big kid.

Dividing that differently, I can see all the sub-chapters of my life until now, corresponding to the schools I went to and therefore – groups of people I was surrounded with: 0-6, 7-12, 13-15, 16-18, 18-22… And then BANG. Now I definitely see the chapter coming to an end. I WILL BE GRADUATED (hopefully, hue hue). I will start a real adult life. And it will all be in my hands. And I will have so much freedom with so much more responsibility! Exciting and terrifying at once.

Zrzut ekranu 2018-01-12 o 00.24.47
Believe it or not, as a teenager I was a pretty good photographer… I hope it’s not possible to lose the talent and inspiration will come back to me. Here: Grenoble, France, NYE ’14-’15. Very significant time in my life.

How was the first days of this year?

No NY resolutions. It’s so pointless for me to make them… I have made plans for this year a couple of months ago, achieved something big an important in the last two weeks of 2017 and did NY room cleaning and re-organising just today, on the 11th… I was never crazy enough to say ‘I will start going to the gym’, but remembering all the previous years: ‘lose some weight’, ‘be more patient’, ‘worry less’… All this sh*t didn’t work anyway! 😀 I have noticed that yes, it all comes to me sooner or later, since I need it and feel the lack of it, but does not depend at all on the calendar… It’s all about the particular moment, the period of time connected to some minor or major change or event… At least for me. Do resolutions if you need. You know I love check-lists anyway!

And when it comes to room-cleaning… I LOVE IT. No, no worries, I don’t mean polishing windows, vacuuming the carpet etc. (I’m not crazy yet… Or well, fun fact, I really enjoy washing dishes!). I really enjoy throwing away the things I don’t need!

2 years ago, before moving back with my dad, I was able to fit all my belongings (excluding bike, skies, etc.) in my old VW Golf III. Yes, it was a small car. I was so happy about it! That’s how the freedom feels for me.

My ultimate minimalism started a few years ago, when I made the decision that sooner or later I will move out of Poland. I looked, for instance, at all my childhood books… All the Harry Potter books. Yes, I love them! But would I take them with me if I was to move to Australia tomorrow? Obviously not. Nowadays I can find them online, if I want to read it again, or – more old-school – borrow them from someone. In this way I sold 90% of my books, earned quite a sum of money. Very important books, for example those with dedication, which were the gift from someone important, are safe in a special box in my mother’s closet. And it feels very comforting.

Once in a couple of months I go through my wardrobe and look critical at everything. How many times did I wear this since the last remanent? Not even once? Immediately out. Sometimes to charity, sometimes to a friend, as the piece of sewing material or just to the trash bin. I don’t care. I am not sentimental anymore, I am practical. The less things I have, the more mobile I am. That’s how the being free feels. Especially if you are my type of person – if you tell me that in two hours I am leaving to travel to the other side of the world, I will be back in one hour, with the luggage packed and enthusiasm in my eyes.

This cleaning session was NY-edition too… I have decided to throw away a few postcards and to cut in pieces a few photographs. Maybe it was my way of saying good-bye and finally dealing with unclear, never-explained situations? With a bit of harmless revenge?

I smiled a lot reading again the little memory-stickers from my friends from Sweden… A few days ago it was exactly one year since I moved there. I won’t ever forget it! And it will still take a while until I lose the sentiment about the material things reminding me of this period.

I still kept a few very important letters and pieces of jewelry, too… It’s been a couple of years when I just misplace them. No matter how minimalistic I wanna be, I will probably never lose sentiment to some objects.

Maybe I am weird. Well, I love blue cheese, do not own a hair dryer, prefer paper calendar to the iPhone app and always wait until tea gets cold to drink it… But it’s been the longest period in a couple of years when I am feeling so well, so myself and have so many plans and hopes for the nearest time period. Cheers to that!

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