To live on your own terms vol.1

A friend of mine sent me recently an article which popped up somewhere on her Facebook wall and which corresponded to what we recently talked about – this is what we do: bombard each other with everything from anatomy handbooks to funny cats.

50 ways to live on your terms by a PhD candidate in Motivation Psychology. ‘Just 50?’ I thought. I guess I am doing pretty fine and since quite long time do not really let anyone rule me. Next I’ve seen the first point: ‘Stop depending on caffeine’ and I immediately thought that I will close the website soon and keep scrolling the pictures of my friends’ breakfasts. I CANNOT live without caffeine. And it is stated in my own terms :D. But I kept reading and it started making more and more sense.

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(c) Bence Fejes

Read 1 book per week, write a journal for 5 minutes per day. As simple as that. Not that I do it – number of books I read depends on the time I spend commuting each week (and if there are places to sit in a tram and if my backpack is not too heavy to carry an additional book…), but I notice the difference. I like having some anecdotes in my sleeve! It’s always great to impress someone with your knowledge – like last week when I told my friend where the HeLa cell line with which she is working on her thesis experiment comes from.

When it comes to writing – I don’t do it every day either, but I think about it more than 5 minutes per day. Writing process means usually an hour with a keyboard once in a couple of days. But I have so many ideas every they that I often catch myself building sentences in my head.

Marry the person you love. I would rather say – marry someone who is not only love, but also the best friend for you. If you plan to spend the whole life with someone, you must be absolutely sure you will never stop to at least like each other. I wouldn’t marry a person I have been with for less than 5 years. I wouldn’t marry a person with totally different ideology, personality and views for life. A couch potato. Disco polo fan. Isn’t it at least a bit as important as love? But what do I know, my longest relationship lasted a year and I rather see myself getting a Noble prize than getting married…

Make a bucket list and actively knock items off. THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN TRULY RECOMMEND. I have a life-long bucket list, I had bucket-lists for my 3 months in India, for last 29 days in Sweden, for the next week (well, that’s more of to-do list). And maybe I am just a psycho obsessed with good organization (alles musst in Ordnung sein!), but it really keeps me motivated and fulfilled.

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(c) Bence Fejes

Fast from the internet 24 hours once per week. That seems like a challenge for me, maybe I am gonna try it in some time – for now I’m far too addicted. It is really much harder to withdraw today, since we all have internet at home, school, office, tram, smart phone. But I know the feeling of relief! I still cannot make my mobile data work in roaming (any Play or iPhone users with the same problem?) so when I go abroad, connect to Wi-Fi just once or twice a day and I am SO HAPPY and free. We are seriously making ourselves crazy with the amount of information we process every day. And yes, world breaking news, uni group chat, new music releases and a professional e-mail are important to follow, but we REALLY can live without the cute pandas, videos of a pizza with a burger inside, your far friend’s grandma’s sister birthday party and next collection of galaxy yoga pants. Ok, withdraw. Give me my pandas back.

Say ‘No’ to people, obligations, requests and opportunities you’re not interested in from now on. I am so proud of myself that I’ve learnt it! I do not talk with people who make my upset, discouraged or anxious anymore. Being a poor student just about to graduate, I have recently rejected a good job offer just because it is not consistent with my life plans (I am not staying in Poland no matter what). I don’t force myself to go to the catholic church just because it befits according to family obligations (do you know how many kilometers I’ve done pushing the strollers with my little cousins around the church during all the first communions happening in my family? :D). I am not nice to anyone who treats me bad, even if I shouldn’t. If I have a choice to sleep properly or prepare something for school last-minute, I will take care of myself and go to sleep. School can wait and the world will not end. As it goes for many other things.

More is yet to come.

And what do you find crucial to your well-being?

Movies I should have grown up to

I recently have heard (in pretty painful circumstances) that you shouldn’t say that you will grow out of something, because it seems as if you didn’t have influence on it. And I really introduced this point of view to my life. But the exception proves the rule.

There are two movies which I shouldn’t watch as early as I did. I should have grown up to them.

Requiem for a dream, 2000 by Darren Aronofsky
staring young and handome (he still is) Jared Leto
American psychological drama

The drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island people are shattered when their addictions run deep. The story of 4 people for whom the hard drugs are the escape from reality.

Why to early? It traumatized me. I was too young to approach this movie with cold emotions, distance and balance. I was really scared, I think even couldn’t sleep or had nightmares for some time.

Now I watch it without stress (I’ve tried recently a few months ago, in Sweden, with a guy at that time), with more understanding but still a lot of humbleness. It was and always will be a huge lesson.

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Amelie (Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain), 2001 by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
staring Audrey Tautou
French romantic comedie

The movie is a whimsical depiction of contemporary Parisian life, set in Montmartre. It tells the story of a shy waitress who decides to change the lives of those around her for the better, while struggling with her own isolation.

Why would I watch this innocent beautiful movie to early?

Because I did not understand it until I’ve watched it alone again a couple of days, maybe a week, ago. As a 7-8 years old child I was told that it is a favourite movie of my Aunt. Well, not a real aunt. My Mom’s best friend, someone like Z. for me. She died for leukemia in 2011 (terrible year – my Aunt, beloved cat Józia and my Grandfather couple of months later), aged 53. Far too early, far too painful for everyone around – my Mom, me, her Partner, friends, coworkers.

I wanted to like Amelie but I just couldn’t. Until I watched it again, aged 22. I loved it! Every second. I’ve seen myself like in All these sleepless nights. And never wanna forget this movie again!

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Moral? Give second chances, but do it wisely.

And now a trailer straight from my head.

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All these sleepless nights – a movie about me

There are not many good Polish movies (I just always recommend Ida, Sala Samabójców and Dzień Świra, if you manage to find it with English subtitles), but this one rapidly jumped into my top list.

I was trying to find any review published by a voice influential enough to make it worth sharing, but apparently nothing like this exists (the movie must have not reach The Guardian, BBC and Huffington Post).

According to Variety, ‘a beautiful a portrait of not much at all as one could hope to find, captures the listlessness of Poland’s youth’.

Cast as an avatar for a nation of disaffected Polish twentysomethings, Krzysztof Bagiński has an amazing face. From some angles, it projects a vulnerable kind of curiosity, almost childlike as questioning eyes peer out from deep hollow sockets. Head-on, he could be Michelangelo’s David, with his broad cheeks and full lips, a question mark knit in the crease between his eyebrows. In profile, he suddenly takes on an almost Neanderthal appearance, as his heavy forehead pushes down on that sharp wedge of a nose.

Over the course of nearly two hours — compressed down from roughly a year in the life of its characters — “All These Sleepless Nights” gives us plenty of time to ponder Bagiński’s head from every angle, and to a lesser degree, the thoughts flickering inside it. Featuring a trio of real people more or less playing themselves, Michał Marczak’s quasi-documentary is breathtakingly beautiful at times, filmed in a style more reminiscent of recent Terrence Malick movies than anything reality-based as it floats at arm’s length behind Kris, best friend Michal (Michał Huszcza), and the girl they both covet, Eva (Eva Lebuef).

The whole article available: HERE.

What did this movie mean for me?

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Hel peninsula, Poland, 2013

I have seen it in the cinema, quite late after it was premiered), with J., one of my best friends, one of the most intelligent, supportive and patient ones. She has great taste, too.

This movie describes me totally. In every inch of my personality and life. I can see myself there like in the mirror. Well, ok. I’m not a man, I do not live in Warsaw. But I am a total Generation X kid, a Millenial.

I do not know what I want. Sometimes maybe I know, or feel that I know, what I do not want. I fear of missing out. I am an individual. I strive to be original. I wear, listen, read and watch alternative. I want the best.

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(c) Zuzanna Diehl – my gorgeous best best friend, a talented Interior Designer

My day? I wake up. I sometimes skip my breakfast to sleep longer. I choose my clothes, do perfect make-up. I follow fashion and never admit to that. I go to Starbucks and laugh it out loud. I secretly envy. I small talk. I follow the course of the day I planned scrupulously – work, studies, social life, self-development. Yoga, languages, gym, exhibitions. I live on Facebook. I sext. I use Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, AirBnb, WhatsApp, Messenger, FaceTime, Viber, Skype, Dropbox, Couchsurfing, TripAdvisor, LinkedIn on my iPhone. I am everywhere every time all the time. I eat what is cool. I know all the pubs popping up and still go to the same ones. I drink coffees with colleagues, beers with best friends, cocktails and wines with a date, vodka from the bottle with an empty wallet. I dance techno. I reject appreciation for usual massive pop music. Everything massive. I dance and dance and drink and dance. And collapse or not. And take Uber or a taxi. End up at home. Or not own home. I keep partying, I keep living. And then I sleep sleepless nights.

All these sleepless nights (Wszystkie nieprzespane noce) is a movie about me. Is it about you, too?

And at the end – some quotes from a trailer (my translation). And a theme song – I love it.

It’s said that if you accumulate together all the vital activities and put them in sequence, having sex would take around 7 months. 4 moths of regretting decision you made. 700 days of pretending someone you are not. Boredom – 2 years. And 17 hours of breaking up. F**k, 17 hours?! That is far too short.

I’ve always wanted to have a girlfriend who will impress me, to feel the challenge how f**king awesome I am to have such a girlfriend. Theoretically.

I think that through the fun we reach the vivaciousness.

[PL] Podobno jeśli sprowadzić wszystkie czynności życia i przeżywać je ciągiem, uprawianie seksu zajęłoby jakieś 7 miesięcy. 4 miesiące żałowania podjętych wcześniej decyzji. 700 dni udawania kogoś, kim się tak naprawdę nie jest. Nuda – 2 lata. I 17 godzin rozstań. Kurwa, 17 godzin?! To jest stanowczo za mało.

Zawsze chciałem mieć dziewczynę która będzie mi imponowała, żeby czuć wyzwanie jaki muszę być zajebisty, żeby mieć taką dziewczynę. Teoretycznie.

Myślę że przez zabawę właśnie osiągamy pełnię życia.

FILMTERACTIVE Festival 2017

As I spend 90% of my time at my technical university or doing things connected to engineering, most of my friends are also engineers, I even talk about engineering with my Dad while eating breakfast… I felt a strong need to do something from out of this bubble and promised myself to involve myself in some extra activities which can help me develop in different areas than what I do professionally.

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I have noticed the add of Filmteractive Festival somewhere on Facebook quite long time ago, I think I was still in India when I filled in the application form to become a volunteer. I almost forgot about it and was quite surprised when I got an e-mail inviting me to work for them.

FILMTERACTIVE FESTIVAL IS AN EVENT THAT WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT MARKETING COMMUNICATION.

It was created as an answer to the needs of evolving market and new challenges related to building a marketing message. It is a platform which brings together business and creativity. This confrontation results in interesting discussions, new possibilities and out-of-the-box ideas.

Content of the Future | Filmteractive Łódź was also the right place to meet the right people and to network in friendly atmosphere of Lodz Film School (full of interesting beautiful people).

The whole event was basically pitch/stand-up/lectures of the inspiring people connected to film business, producers, marketing managers and computer scientists working with production and virtual reality.

My top-3?

Joe Krawczyk’s (founder of IndaHash) speaking about the impact of the online influencers on customer’s choice, power of Instagram as a marketing tool and presenting your ideas in visually attractive way.

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Eve-Marine Joly from Day For Night Productions, France, about their ongoing project realized in virtual reality technique (I had a chance to talk to her during the afterparty, lovely person with a strong mind!). Their organization – apart from many other projects – is strongly supported by the French government in production of films promoting the human rights protection. What Eve-Marine presented during the pitching session of Filmteractive Market (start-ups could present their ideas and win the prize to found their development) was the VR film dedicated for museums and educational institutions in which you can observe and get involved into the life-stories of prostitutes. My first thought was ‘Wtf, only perverts who are not brave enough to do it in real life will go for it’, but Eve-Marine clearly pointed out that there is no pornography involved and no matter how controversial it looks like, it is just supposed to open our eyes to the facts behind the prostitution. Did you know that most of these girls were raped or sexually abused from very early age?

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The guys from World of VR on their project supporting people with authism in the involvment in every-day life of society. Their short video in which you can put yourself into shoes of Marek – authistic guy trying to find his place in the office – was a masterpiece and I was surprised that I haven’t seen it anywhere before. I was disappointed that this project did not win the main prize… Everyone just loved it. And I would really like content like this to go more viral – among all the bullsh*t you can find online, I would be glad if people come across something more valuable from time to time.

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It was my second time to work with Deloitte Digital and hopefully not the last. I’ve met the team during FOTOFESTIWAL in Łódź, 2 or 3 years ago, and it was great to work with them again.

What was my job? Together with the 6 other volunteers we were basically emergency team fixing all the unpredicted situations. I was registering guests, printing their badges, making tea, explaining the setup of the event thousand times, carrying chairs to the stage, bringing food to people too lazy to get it themself, giving an interview for Martin Percy’s promotion material.

What made me really happy about this job was the chance to develop in what interests me recently the most – digital marketing (so far from Biomedical Engineering again!). As the only volunteer ready and brave enough to do it, I was supporting the Social Media Manager in producing the SM live commentary from the event. Kasia would need 5 hands to deal with all the apps and websites at ones, so I was super happy to take over the event’s Instagram account and I think I’ve done well. We even talked about the possibilities of working for them in the nearest future… That’s called networking!

For one day I succeeded to forget about the engineering world and have a lot of fun and inspiration from creative people. At the end of the day I was super tired but also happy to party with the other volunteers. Unfortunately my organism does not like the intensity of my lifestyle and today I woke up very sick. Yes, THAT sick that I even decided to stay at home, work a bit on what I can do online (BSc thesis for example, finally!) and just have a day for myself to take a rest.

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Instructions for freedom

INSTRUCTIONS FOR FREEDOM

From Elizabth Gilbert’s Eat, pray, love

1. Life’s metaphors are God’s instructions.

2. You have just climbed up and above the roof. There is nothing between you and the Infinite. Now, let go.

3. The day is ending. It’s time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.

4. Your wish for resolution was a prayer. Your being here is God’s response. Let go, and watch the stars come out—on the outside and on the inside.

5. With all your heart, ask for grace, and let go.

6. With all your heart, forgive him, FORGIVE YOURSELF, and let him go.

7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering. Then, let go.

8. Watch the heat of day pass into the cool night. Let go.

9. When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It’s safe. Let go.

10. When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy.

Depths of Internet vol.2

Like some time ago, I would like to share things I found online and find them beautiful, or at least inspiring.

yogi

Coming back from India I was searching for a good (hopefully the best) yoga school in my hometown, where I still leave and study for next half a year. I asked Google, I asked my network on Facebook and found out about a great Hatha-Yoga school ran by Michał Szczepaniak, great Polish yogi with an appropriate training and preparation in India. I am in love with his classes ALMOST as much as with Pradeepa’s.

Anyway, Yogis of Lodz popped up somewhere on my Facebook and I really liked it, I hope they will come back to life again (last post was published in May 2017). Basically – great photos and interesting stories of yogis in my city. I hope I get there one day!

 

  • Żaba – Instagram account

I don’t wanna link this Instagram account, it is too private for my feeling.

To cut long story short – when I used to be a scout (age 10 to 14), I have met many amazing girls, but one of them stuck especially in my memory, that is why I keep following her life until now, although we do not have any contact. She is such a lovely person and creative artist!

M. (Żaba = Froggie for friends) got pregnant in the age of 16 or 17, and decided to have the baby with her still-boyfriend. And now her Instagram posts are just BEAUTIFUL.

zaba

 

Well, apart from being another marketing tool of the blog, my own Twitter is a place where I publish many quotes and other short sentences which I meet in my every day life – from friends, family, on parties, written on the walls and in the public toilets. Worth scrolling through!

twiit

 

I’ve met this guy in one of the hostels in India and really liked him, partying for the whole night in hostel common area.

I also laughed at him a lot – Polish people will get it. Having such a Polish surname with a very American name sounds just ridiculous. Well, sounded ridiculous until I met a guy called Michaelangelo here in Lodz… Ah those drunk people you accidentally meet in a pub!

Anyway, Tommy is a traveler. I like other travelers.

gosz

 

I remember Olcha from the secondary school – she was one year older and very good at Maths. In adult life it turned out that she is also super talented in a very unusual field – papercuts, as well as photography! And she travels a lot, too.

olcha

 

You know I am a poor student… That is why when I travel I often participate in the attractions which are for free – for example Free Walking Tours organized in many cities, where you can meet other travelers, as well as people who just love their cities so much that they want to show them to you pro bono. That is how I met Peter – traveler, journalist, social activist.

My German is not fluent yet, but I recommend his website for people who can read it properly 😀

peter

And I fully support the idea of Lviv Buddy movement. I loved Lviv so much! And I loved most of the people there, too.

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Depths of Internet vol.1

I am not The New York Times, but I have a taste.

Many of other bloggers I follow and respect, even look up to, have a custom to write from time to time a post collecting all the valuable content we can find among all the rubbish on the internet. I decided to do the same, as there are so many profound, or at least entertaining, things out there! And what can be more inspiring than other authors, artists, voices of the generation, online marketing experts, social media addicts who DO know how to do it?

First of all – the bloggers I follow.

One and only, genius red-head, 30 years old strong independent woman living in London. Infinite source of inspiration, good taste, psychology, big city lifestyle, career planning, reaching better and higher every day – Marta Kaczyńska RIENNAHERA (PL)

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My friend from uni, really smart and ambitious, one of the best students, fitness and sport junkie, vegetarian, life fighter, Polish Blair Waldorf, full of charm and class, on her journey to become a happier personPaulina Wyrwas PAULLAJNA (ENG)

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Super-tall basketball player, medicine student, friend of a friend of a friend, we met a couple of times on the parties in my hometown. I follow him for some years already, but didn’t have a chance to talk to him as a blogger yet. Very mature for his age. This guys helps me preserve the thought that there are still some young, decent, emotionally sensitive men out there – Adam Bartkiewicz (PL)

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But I am a lot into art too… Modern art museums are the only ones I visit while travelling, apart from wandering around and noticing street art.

Met this guy here, in India, and fell in love with his photographs, even if I really got to know him on his last evening in Manipal. He is still a source of pictures for my posts, with full credits of course. I wish I hadn’t dropped photography a few years back, and I really admire his talent – Bence Fejes

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A modern Indian guy I met on one of the parties in my hostel, when I sneaked into the boy’s floor… We talked a lot, he surprised me almost as much as I surprised him with my stories, gave me a lot of laughs too – Rumit Dalal

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For the last couple of days I really have life of a professional writer. I do not work, as my supervisor is on the sick leave, so I go for yoga at 7AM, come back having a healthy shake on my way home, take a nap or watch Netflix for an hour, do some writing, exchange emails, settle my life plans and little organisational issues, do shopping, do some more writing, meet friends for lunch, complete my duties outside, come back for yoga at 5pm, shower, go for dinners and parties. I do not think I could do it longterm – I am far too lazy, wouldn’t be able to motivate myself enough if permanently working from home. Plus I expect I am really far from making money on writing…