It’s mid-December, New Year’s Eve is coming… Normally I would be already panicking about where and with whom will I spend it (at least not about when xD), why I haven’t got any invitations yet or why I got 3 of them and thus where should I finally go. Or where to go first: it happened to me a couple of times that I was taking a taxi (and hoping that the driver did not celebrate) and changing the party in the middle of the night just to party with two groups of friends. It makes it so much easier that this year I will be on the other continent and even other hemisphere. Anyway…
New Year’s Eve = party. And I guess you can imagine how I party. I rarely say no to alcohol, I do not wear high-heels just to be able to dance all night long, I make new friends in 5 minutes even when I’m sober, I was once called a party-commando (komendant melanżu). And just to remind you – I still am super responsible, ambitious and perfectly deal with my life.
But as I get older, I search for more value in the party itself. If it’s not enough fun, it’s not worth it to be hungover the next morning. I will never say no to a proper latino party, electronic music concert or a silent disco, but I will not go out on Friday night if it is just another pop clubbing. Unless I am really emotionally wasted after the whole work-week and REALLY need to get drunk and dance it all away (happened last Friday).
And about the people – I have my partners in crime. Great team for latino party. Another one for student parties and karaoke in the pub. Another for in-house parties. And another just to hang out in the bar. But we all know those people…
Five types of people you don’t want to party with
- Johnny Bravo – and ‘the more muscles, the less brain’ rule starts to make sense. His ‘personality’ and self-confidence grow proportionally to the amount of alcohol he drank. He hits on literally EVERYONE who has boobs. The problem starts when the boobs-owner has a boyfriend… The Polish know the concept of Sebix – bold guy, always wearing sport pants with enough stripes, biggest fan of sport (or beating up the supporters of the other team), art (or rather painting penises on the neighbor’s wall) and poetry (*%#$!@ #@$&*$% is the most honest compliment you can get from him). On Fridays Sebix changes his sport pants for jeans and hits the dancefloor, just to find the woman of his life (or night). And the way he tries to pick her up is usually at least… primitive. If you have a bad luck to be his goal, you need to run fast. But Sebix likes boxing too, so make sure your boyfriend does not stay on his way. Well, actually any reason is good to fight. Hey, didn’t that guy took your place in line to the cloak room by any chance?!
- Drama queen – exactly my type of girl. High-heels as long as her artificial nails. So much make up that you hardly see her face from underneath. There are other things you can see since her skirt is far too short, though. The queen usually goes around with 2 or 3 friends of her type, but she plays the first fiddle. No matter if she is happy, sad or angry, she has to inform about it loud enough to make everyone around know about it. You can best hear her in the girls bathroom or in the night bus, when she is already drunk, coming back home and loudly going through even more drama which happened during her night out.
- Online-party unit – depending on sex: or typical male nerd who goes through the newest mems or plays Snake in the middle of the party, or a girl who, drunk enough, calls and messages her ex boyfriends. It’s not easy to assess which one of them is a worse loser… Each of them drinks too much and does not socialize enough. Instead of talking to people, they glue themselves to the smartphone screen, as I do it in the morning tram to avoid contact with the rest of universe unenthusiastically commuting with me.
- Your worst uncle – anyone who has been to a wedding at least once, knows what I mean. Do you remember this uncle who pinched your cheeks the strongest when you were a kid? Imagine how annoying he gets when he is drunk. As subtle as atomic bombing, as funny as socks with sandals. He does not take no for an answer when it comes to drinking or dancing. Dancing one rhythm no matter what the beat is, of course. He knows ALL the short folk songs (Jeszcze po kropelce, jeszcze po kropelce…) and he stays at the parties much longer than he should.
- Photographer and the DJ – two different types, but annoying in the same category. Photographer will take a picture with camera, phone, toaster, calculator or even a fridge, if he succeeds. He will take a selfie with EVERYONE in the room (usually to show off on Facebook that he ‘has friends’). And the more drunk you all are, the more pictures he will take. DJ, on the other hand, will always push his way to the speaker/laptop to play ‘this one great song’. He doesn’t care that it’s great just for him…
Do you know these people? Don’t invite them to your NYE party.